8 Myths That Kill Relationships

When you think relationships should be a certain way, and yours isn’t, frustration sets in. And “frustration is the number one thing that eats away at a relationships.
Here are 8 myths you need to do away with to prevent your relationship from going down a dark tunnel. 1. Myth: A good relationship means that you don’t have to work at it.

Fact: “The strongest most enduring relationships take lots of hard work. Another bad sign is if you’re trying hard to make improvements and changes, but you don’t see the same level of effort on your partner’s part. On the flip side, if both of you are trying and you can see positive changes being made at least some of the time, then that’s a good sign.

2. Myth: If partners really love each other, they know each other’s needs and feelings.

Fact: “It’s a setup to expect your partner to be able to read your mind,” because when you anticipate that your partner will know your wants, that’s essentially what you’re doing. We develop this expectation as kids, but “as adults, we’re always responsible for communicating our feelings and needs. And once you’ve communicated your needs and feelings, “a better measure of the quality of your relationship” is whether your partner actually listens to your words.

3. Myth: If you’re truly in love, passion will never fade.

Fact: Thanks to movies and romantic novels, we assume that if we genuinely love someone, “the passion, urging and loving” never go away. And if they do disappear, then “it must not be the right relationship” or “our relationship [must be] in trouble,” However, passion naturally diminishes in all relationships. As their responsibilities grow and roles expand, couples have less and less time and energy for each other. But with a little planning and playfulness, you can boost passion, couples can do new things together to perk things up, ask yourselves: “How do we tame our lives sufficiently that we can make time for each other and have energy left for each other?”

4. Myth: Having a child will strengthen your relationship or marriage.

Fact: Studies have shown that in some relationships happiness actually decreases with every child. This doesn’t mean that you start loving each other less or that you won’t bond at all over your child, but the mounting challenges can complicate relationships. Having realistic expectations helps couples prepare themselves for their new roles. When you think that a child will improve your relationship, it only adds to the complications.

5. Myth: Jealousy is a sign of true love and caring.

Fact: Jealousy is more about how secure and confident you are with yourself and your relationship (or the lack thereof), she said. Take the following example: If you have a jealous partner, you might try to show them how much you care so they don’t get jealous. But you soon realize that any amount of caring isn’t a cure for their jealous reactions.

While you can be supportive, your partner must work on their insecurity issues on their own. “No matter what you do, you can’t make your partner feel more secure” or “change their self-confidence.”

6. Myth: Fights ruin relationships.

Fact: In actuality, what ruins relationships is not resolving your fights, Blum said. “Fights can be really healthy, and an important form of communication and clearing the air.”

Also, the type of fight a couple has plays a role. Not surprisingly, nasty, scornful or condescending fights that leave couples resolution-less and not talking for days damage the relationship. Productive conflicts that help the relationship end with “some mutual decision about how to manage this disagreement.

7. Myth: In order for the relationship to be successful, the other partner must change.

Fact: Many times we’re very good at the blame game and not so good at pondering how we can become better partners. Instead, we demand that our partners make such and such changes. Unless, there are extreme circumstances like abuse or chronic infidelity, it takes two to make changes.

8. Myth: Couples therapy means your relationship is really in trouble.
Fact: By the time couples seek therapy, this may be true, but changing this mindset is key. Most couples seek therapy “when they’ve been suffering for a really long time. So therefore, people should view therapy as preventive, meaning you should go for therapy at the early stages of light issues not when you’ve been stuck in conflicts for over 10 years.

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20 great quotes to get you through tough times

1. Tough times never last, but tough people do

1. Tough times never last, but tough people do

Every single one of us has been there. We’ve all been down in the dumps. We’ve all felt hopeless. We’ve all felt like all the hard work we’ve put in has been a waste of time and perhaps it’s all been for nothing. It’s at those times we might find our true character. It’s at those times we either strive to keep going or simply give up.

If you’re ever in a rut and life’s got you down just check out some of these amazing quotes that can help pull you through.

1. Tough times never last, but tough people do. – Robert H Schuller

2. The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them. – Unknown

3. Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines. -Leroy Satchel Paige

4. A problem is a chance for you to do your best. – Duke Ellington

5. I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders. – Jewish Proverb

6. If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. – Mary Engelbreit

7. When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always get worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better. – Malcolm S Forbes

8. Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity is a greater. Possession pampers the mind; privation trains and strengthens it. – William Hazlitt

9. Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity. – Lou Holtz

10. I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death. – Thomas Paine

11. If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are? – Unknown

12. The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity. – Ulysses S. Grant

13. The bravest sight in the world is to see a great man struggling against adversity. –Seneca

14. Adversity is a fact of life. It can’t be controlled. What we can control is how we react to it. – Unknown

15. The true test of a person character is how they stand during test of adversity – Unknown

16. The hardest struggle of all is to be something different from what the average man is. – Charles M Schwab

17. He knows not his own strength who hath not met adversity. – William Samuel Johnson

18. In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive. – Lee Iacocca

19. Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them. – Publilius Syrus

20. One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity. – Albert Schweitzer

Evil Nanny Arrested For Killing One-Year-Old Baby

An Irish nanny accused of violently injuring and killing a baby in her care was indicted on a murder charge on Friday.

A Middle sex County grand jury also accused the nanny, Aisling Brady McCarthy, of assault and battery on a child causing bodily injury, authorities said. McCarthy was arrested in January after the death of Rehma Sabir, who was hospitalized with severe head injuries on her first birthday, Jan. 14, and died two days later. Rehma’s family lives in Cambridge, just outside Boston, and McCarthy, who is in the United States illegally, lives in nearby Quincy. McCarthy had previously pleaded not guilty to assault and battery on a child causing substantial bodily injury. She was jailed on $500,000 bail while authorities, who said they expected to file a murder charge, awaited the baby’s autopsy results. Defense lawyer Melinda Thompson, who couldn’t immediately be reached for comment on Friday after the murder indictment, had protested the high bail and said McCarthy was an innocent person sitting in jail. In February, a judge ruled in McCarthy’s favor when her lawyer asked for the preservation of all records related to the baby’s travel from June 2012 until she died. That included who traveled with the baby, where the baby stayed and whether medical personnel examined her. The lawyer also asked for a list of people who lived at or visited the baby’s home and for the family’s computer records.

The defense has claimed Rehma returned home malnourished after traveling overseas, including to Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and London. State police said in court documents that a pillow, a blanket and baby wipes that were stained with blood were found in the baby’s bedroom. Authorities have accused McCarthy of “violently injuring” the baby, causing her death. Authorities also said a neighbor reported hearing the baby crying for nearly an hour on her birthday, followed by more intense crying, but knocks on the family’s door went unanswered. The baby’s parents, Nada Siddiqui and Sameer Sabir, told police McCarthy had been a nanny for their family for about six months. Immigration officials have said McCarthy is in the United States illegally after entering in 2002 from Ireland under a tourist program that allowed a 90-day stay. Court officials haven’t scheduled a new arraignment date for McCarthy.

KIM KARDASHIAN’S FLOWER POWER AT COURT HEARING BUT EX HUSBAND KRIS HUMPHRIES IS A NO SHOW

Kim K, Divorce, Chris Humphries, Court, appearance

Kim K, Divorce, Chris Humphries, Court, appearance

KIM Kardashian storms out of her divorce hearing with a face like thunder after estranged husband Kris Humphries failed to turn up.

The pregnant singer dolled herself up in a sharp floral shirt dress with slicked back hair and scarlet lipstick as she prepared to thrash out details of their divorce settlement yesterday afternoon. However she was left reeling when the basketball star failed to show up to the courthouse in Los Angeles. It means negotiations are delayed again as the judge set another hearing for April 19.

Kim, who is expecting her first child with rapper boyfriend Kanye West, has been locked in a bitter legal wrangle with Kris ever since she filed to end their 72-day marriage in October 2011. The Brooklyn Nets player is reportedly holding up proceedings as he wants their marriage annulled instead of a divorce.

He claims it was was based on fraud, alleging she used their televised nuptials to boost her ratings and earnings. Kris was last spotted in New York in the early hours of Friday morning. His lawyers declined to comment on settlement discussions, but said a May 6 trial date remains.

Kim is desperate for things to be sorted before she becomes a mum in July.

SCANDAL: Investigations Shows Pastor Chris Oyakhilome has Secret Companies, Questionable Deals [DETAILS]

Pastor Chris Oyakhilome, scandals,
secret companies, investigation

Pastor Chris Oyakhilome, scandals,
secret companies, investigation

An investigation by Premium Times has unveiled complex business dealings by pentecostal pastor, entrepreneur and President of Believer’s LoveWorld Inc (popularly known as Christ Embassy), Pastor Chris Oyakhilome. Excerpts from the lengthy report indicate that the controversial figure (fondly called ‘Pastor Chris’) has employed financial fronts, and taken advantage of tax havens in the Carribeans to extend an already publicly impressive wealth profile. In addition, some directors in the unveiled companies hold shares on behalf of the pastor’s now teenage daughters, Carolyn and Sharon. According to the report: The company in question is Gmobile Nigeria Limited, an offshore firm incorporated in 2007 in a Caribbean tax haven, the British Virgin Islands, according to a cache of documents reviewed by Premium Times and the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists (ICIJ). The shareholders listed in the documents include Oyakhilome’s wife, Anita; another pastor in his organization, Thomas Amenkhienan; a business associate, Aigobomian Inegbedion; and another British Virgin Islands’ company,GTMT Int Group Limited. Documents reviewed by ICIJ and Premium Times shows that Anita Oyakhilome held 17, 750 of Gmobile’s 50,000 shares, with Amenkhienan owning 1,500 and Inegbedion 750. The fourth shareholder, GTMT International, also a British Virgin Islands company owned by South African investors, held 30,000 shares. The documents show that some of these individuals held shares in trust for two minors. The records don’t identify the minors but Inegbedion confirmed that the minors referred to in the. docs were the Oyakhilomes’ daughters, quickly adding that there was nothing wrong with that. “Their parents bought the shares for them because they have rights to own shares,” Mr. Inegbedion said. “A day-old child has a right to own shares in companies.” He declined to say which of Gmobile directors held shares in trust for the girls. The Oyakhilomes did not respond to emails sent to their personal and church websites.

So what is Gmobile and how was it set up? In 2007 Anita Oyakhilome and her partners retained the services of a Dubai based company, Covenant Management Consultancy (CML), to help it register Gmobile Nigeria Limited in the British Virgin Islands (BVI), a Caribbean chain largely controlled bythe United Kingdom. On June 26, 2007, CML in turn approached BVI based Commonwealth Trust Limited (CTL) to complete the task of setting and offshore company. After some preliminaries — including name checks and consultation with lawyers —CML’s Susha George wrote to CTL’s Shonia Mathew on July 3 giving her the go-ahead to incorporate Gmobile. In that same two paragraph message, George informed CTL that two shareholders of the company were minors. She also asked whether additional documents or procedures were needed for the minors to be owners of the company. Mathew replied the same day, saying that shares of the company could only be held in trust for the minors. Please note if the beneficial owners are minors, then the shares would need to be held in Trust for them until they are of age to act in that capacity she wrote, adding that it may be wise to contact an attorney regarding the formalities of the company. Seven days after Gmobile’s incorporation company records show,shares were issued to Anita Oyakhilome, Amenkhienan, Inegbedion and GTMT Limited, a BVI company. Another curious aspect of the company, which became dormant on May 1, 2009, was the makeup of its board of directors. Its first director was not a human being but another offshore company,Covenant Managers Limited, an offshore firm also set up by Dubai based Covenant Consultancy Limited in July 2005 to offer nominee services to corporations and individuals incorporating companies in the BVI. In the offshore world, nominee directors or shareholders serve as stand-ins that allow the real people behind companies to keep their identities hidden. As first director, Covenant Managers approved the opening of a bank account in the United Arab Emirates or any other place in the world. It is not known in which bank the account was eventually opened nor whether it was used to move funds. After Covenant Managers officially resigned, GTMT directors were brought on board together with Anita Oyakhilome, Inegbedion and Amenkhienan as directors. They were Willem Johannes Jacobus Van Der Merwe, Karen Ann Smith and Daniel John William Mills. Reporting by Premium Times
determined that Van Der Merwe, Smith and Mills were based in South Africa but we could not ascertain how they came to be associated with the Oyakhilome clan. Inegbedion said the idea of incorporating Gmobile in a tax haven was suggested by the South Africans, who he said argued that BVI was an ideal neutral ground for the business partnership the Oyakhilomes were forging with GTMT to carry out the business of
distributing data compression software in Nigeria We were looking for a neutral ground where both parties could feel safe,” Inegbedion said in a telephone interview.“So we had to go to British Virgin Islands. But it was our partners who handled the registration.”The only South African partner Premium Times was able to track down, Karen Ann Smith, declined to comment on the formation and businesses of Gmobile.“You are on the wrong trip, guy, as I’m not interested in talking about that business,” Mrs. Smith said on telephone. Was this a failed business, or something more sinister? The report struggles for balance, but makes it clear on what it believes (that there is something unquestionably shady about the string of arrangements). Gmobile does not appear to have carried out any business in Nigeria, South Africa or the BVI. Inegbedion and another individual who identified himself as Danny Mills made a fleeting appearance before journalists in Lagos in October 2007, almost four months after Gmobile was registered in the BVI, to say the firm was unveiling a GMobile product which allows users to maximize data storage and make an array of communications and services possible. Danny Mills was introduced as the international sales director of Gmobile,while Inegbedion was introduced as chief operating officer of an unknown firm, LW GNet Nigeria. Apparently, nothing has been heard of that product since that event. Today, Inegbedion introduces himself on his Facebook page as managing director of Paradigm Biz Solution Limited, a company the Nigerian Corporate Affairs Commission also says does not exist in its database. Remmy Nweke, a well-regarded Lagos-based communications reporter, was among those who covered Gmobile’s press conference at the time. “Well, they came and met the media and said they were rolling out an irresistible product, Mr. Nweke said via telephone. But that was the last we heard of them. They simply disappeared. Inegbedion said Gmobile was unable to roll out the product because the company’s partners in South Africa failed to deliver after his team, led by Anita Oyakhilome, paid $1.8 million for a distribution license. To all appearances, Gmobile was simply a failed business venture. But other companies incorporated in tax havens such as the BVI have become known for involvement with illegal activities, including money laundering and tax evasion. In addition to its multi-million dollar recording studio in Lagos, Nigeria; Pastor Chris’s known investments have been said to include failed television station MBI and flourishing printing and publishing company, Global Plus, based in Ikeja, Lagos. He also owns satellite broadcast channels in the United Kingdom (LoveWorld TV), South Africa (LoveWorld SAT and Nigeria (LoveWorld Plus).