Why Pretty girls get less more attention from guys this days

A study on factors that influence relationships always focus mostly on girls. But this days much attention have been shifted to the guys because it can be observed without much doubt that guys of nowadays tend to show a preference or make an approach for less prettier girls.

In the years past guys always wanted to be in relationships with girls who possessed certain features such as a pretty face, tall, smaller jaw bone, bigger boobs, bigger butt, right curves, bright eyes etc. All in all, they wanted girls who had striking beauties and were attractive because it boosted their ego. But the same thing can’t be said this days.

I was chatting with a female friend a few days ago and along the line we got into a conversation on girls and their criteria for dating or getting into a relationship with someone. While she argued that girls wanted to date the attractive or more physically handsome guys/men, and the rich guys who could satisfy their material desires. I told her that i personally had a different ideology. I believe that a girl/woman get attracted to a man and sometimes falls in love with him for who he is and how he carries himself. A guy doesn’t necessarily need to be strikingly handsome to get the type of girl he wants. He might not even need to be rich or possess all the wealth in the world for him to get the attention of miss world if that’s who he craves or has a thing for.

My findings show that guys of this days suffer from complex, even the handsome ones. 70% of guys nowadays find approaching a very pretty girl of their taste a heavy task that is to an extent un-achievable due to a lack of self esteem and a fear of being embarrassed or humiliated by such girls, this factor is a major reason why most pretty girls are still single because they get lesser approaches. The same guys feel they have a better success rate when they walk up and talk to a girl who to them is less more attractive.

It is the reason why the “Okay” girls/Ladies/women get a lot of toasters nowadays that they even become choosy. People can judge for themselves how attractive they are by the amount of attention they are receiving, whether it’s good attention or bad attention. Most “not too pretty” girls get too much attention to an extent that most of them start having a feeling that they are pretty or possess hidden beauties (Laughs). My candid advise to guys is to stop being intimidated by pretty girls, try to make an approach for any girl you feel suits your taste. The pretty girls are not usually as hostile as you think they are. Forget about the feeling of getting embarrassed or humiliated, because that mindset can cause you to settle for someone less than you deserve. Some guys don’t approach the pretty girls because they feel they might have been taken by someone else, very laughable but true. Sometimes this girls leave hints but you fail to pick up on the bombs and it is very hurtful on their path. You don’t expect her to make the first move, 98% of girls won’t do that, so you are expected to make the move. Not like girls don’t approach guys at all, 2% of girls do that, i’ve had girls approach me in the past and trust me, i can definitely tell the difference between slutty girls and the genuine good girls.

My advise to the pretty girls who are worried and sometimes get hurt because they are getting less more attention is that beauty is very subjective. In your eyes, you could be far prettier than these girls that you see getting all the attention. But the girl you call ‘ugly’ could be gorgeous in the eyes of the guy who’s talking to her. If it’s easier to grasp this way, think of it in terms of celebrities. I personally think Jordan Sparks is really pretty
but that Nicki Minaj is ugly. A lot of people would disagree and say that Nicki Minaj is gorgeous or that Jordan Sparks isn’t pretty. Beauty is all in the eye of the beholder. I’m sure you and your friends don’t always agree on which celebrity guys are
hot. It’s all based on the individual’s opinion, you know? The best way to deal with this is remind yourself that there will be guys out there that will find you attractive and posses enough guts to walk up to you. Just because you’re not seeing them now
doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. I know it’s hard to keep that in mind but it really does help.

The pretty girls for sure may get more looks and stares and wolf whistles, catcalls and stuff. But what about guys approaching them and asking them out? I’ve heard a mixture of answers from previous questions about this topic. What is your opinion on this?

SlausonBoi MottoCrowd Incorporated

5 Ways To Save Your Marriage

If your marriage is falling apart, these five steps provide you with a clear path out of the darkness and a new beginning for your relationship journey.

With these five steps, couples have been able to reawaken love and enjoy each other again. Even if your situation seems hopeless, don’t give up.

1) Commit: While it may appear obvious, the couples that do not make it are usually those not committed to making their marriage work. When you make the decision to commit, you have decided to put in the hard work that is needed to save your marriage. When you waver and think about what it would be like if you married someone else or how you wish your life would be different, you are usually not able to generate enough momentum to push forward and repair the relationship.

2) Seal your exits: Couples in crisis are often focused everywhere but their marriage. It’s so painful, who can blame them? Even if we are physically married, many of us have “checked out.”An essential step to bringing the energy back into the relationship is to seal your exits. This means thinking about the various activities where we focus our inner resources and whether they have become substitutes for the look of excitement and fulfillment in marriage. Besides the obvious (often-fatal) exits of infidelity and substance abuse, here are a few common exits that we may find ourselves doing: Work, exercise, over eating, facebook, taking care of the kids

3) Detox your marriage: Eliminate all name-calling, finger-pointing, blaming, and shaming. A toxic relationship cannot thrive. Angry outbursts chip away at the love and trust that a couple has for each other. Instead, take ownership for your feelings and frustration by focusing on why your spouse’s actions disturb you. Replace the “you” of “you always do this” with “I” – “how I felt when…”

Finally, learn to ask for what you want. It’s so easy to complain that we often forget what it is we are missing. Rather than focusing on how your spouse ignores you, share how badly you crave his love and attention. Not only does detoxing your marriage help remove the poison from your relationship, it will make your spouse much more amenable to meeting your needs.

4) Enter the world of the other: One of the painful realizations that married people discover is that “my spouse is not me.” In order to make room for the other, it is critical to learn how to acknowledge that your spouse may see the world very differently than you. Get into the habit of asking, “Is now a good time?”

5) Love infusions: Working on any relationship is challenging, especially so when you are trying to rescue one in crisis. That’s why it is crucial to infuse your relationship with loving behaviors that promote positive energy. These love infusions help lighten things and add fun. Show appreciation, fix date nights and exude caring behaviors.

When we act lovingly we not only stimulate our own love for our spouse; we awaken their love for us as well. And with these concrete behavioral changes occurring, we show that the relationship can indeed be different.

SlausonBoi MottoCrowd Incorporated

Good Black Brothers Need Good Black Sisters

I was in a conversation with some young political activists some months ago. After talking about our political dissonances, we gradually shifted to a different topic. We were all blacks, so, it makes sense that we transitioned to issues that affects the black population. A lady was sharing passionately on why black men needed to step up and learn to treat their women right. She was so passionate that you could sense she was speaking from a personal experience. I listened and was eager to share my views. This is not a new topic that I have been involved in but there was so much in her conversation that I could not get it out of my mind.

The conversation went on to talk about how black women are at the bottom of the social strata. Most black women are educated and smart but usually struggle to find a mate that matches up to that standard that most successful black women have. With a curious mind, I began to think of intelligent black women I know who are still single.

In my opinion, I do not see being single as a bad thing or disease. Being single does not make you less of a human being. I also believe that that there are people who can be happily single if they choose to. On that note, I gently contributed. Even though black women cannot find partners, I mentioned that black men in United States are also at the bottom of the economic strata. I also could not stop thinking of black men who are struggling to get jobs. I am not even talking about those with only high school degrees; it also include friends who are highly educated.

I noticed how many black women around me easily progress in their career path but most of the men are behind and struggling. I do not have a definite answer to the imbalance because there are so many reasons involved. It is a great thing to have a professional degree; but I have come to a conclusion that not everyone would have one. Not everyone would become a doctor, lawyer, engineer or a social worker. Some people have to go a different path. The sad aspect is that you would struggle to move up in the economic ladder if you do not have professional degree. Black men struggle with a lot of stigma and very little network to build their reputation.

In the world today, networking is huge. You need to know how to get what you want and where you need to go. Most Nigerians in America I know, are mostly in social work if they are not professionals. There are many fields to launch into than being a social worker. But the pool of network is very small outside this circle. I also noticed how black people are hesitant to help the young black men. This is a sad truth. The world demands creativity and it is important for individuals to become creative in any way possible. In a very complex world, it is also important to be flexible and adaptable to change. The only thing is that most black men have weak networks for them to be innovative. I can think of white peers who were behind academically but have gradually progressed in their career path than some black men who performed better. Their parents and friends have done most of the work for them. They all join these networks that would benefit them.

We, being Nigerian-Americans. Our parents lived for survival, so there is very little to build on. Only if your dad is Dangote, Bishop Oyedepo or Adebayo Ogunlesi, then you have no worries. Most organisations our parents probably belong to is more social than adding any value to their children. These organisations are more of “Owambe” than focused a providing
economic development for their children. In United States, those with strong communities have been able to produce successful people. I am always talking to the Italian-Americans, Chinese-Americans, Indian-Americans and especially to Jewish-
Americans on how they have left a lasting legacy in America. Most black men would have to go beyond the black community to ascend in their career path. There is a very small pool of people that you can actually find to mentor you in your career path.

Being the first in my family to go into law school was also challenging. I remember just trying to network with other Nigerian men who were lawyers but it was not successful. It takes a while to find genuine men who are interested in building other men. It is so easy to find black women empowerment network but black men are just lost, striving to survive and make it on their own. Probably that would explain why some men become demanding and expect so much from their partners. Since our women have been able to move a lot
quicker in the economic ladder than most black men do, I could not stop thinking of the significance for the brothers to start networking with the black women network.

Furthermore; strong families produce strong children. If black men can humble themselves and realize that there are more odds against them. They have very little and weak networks. Most black men have to deal stereotypes. Most people feel threatened by black men. Black women are always easier to reach out to than black men. Not all of us want to become an
entertainers (where most black men have mainly progressed). Black women are usually more skilled and with vast network. The larger population in United States are usually more comfortable with black women in leadership than black men. That is why I believe that a stronger family would make a
progressive race of people. A stronger family involves genuine commitment and faithfulness from both husband and wife.

It is important not to assume that marriage will change your life drastically but it is important for married couples to realize that they belong to the same team. To be a team means you are working towards a common vision and both of you will do anything to support each other. As a single guy and also black, you sometimes had to break a perception and stereotype of being perceived as lazy and indisciplined. People respect you more when you are able to keep your marriage. In America, it always reflect the strength and character, when they a black man has a stable family. Black males with supportive wives are more likely to progress very quickly than the young single ambitious guy who is still trying to find stability.

We also need our women to dismiss the fantasy of having Mr. “Bankole.” Mr. “Bankole” is my metaphor for a man who is very successful and ready for marriage. The sad part is Mr. “Bankole’s” have become very few. In a cultural context, many things have changed for men. Men used to be the sole bread winner but the change in culture have also demanded women to also become financially responsible. In America, the black men are at the bottom of the economic strata. It has become a system that has kept them there. There are many reasons to this situation. Family structure, poor lifestyle choices etc. But most educated black men also had to suffer and endure before they find stability. The unemployment rate is higher within the black male than the average population. From my understanding, once you are unemployed for more than nine months, your skill sets would have to be refined.

Many black males are not sure of their place in the society. If they are not emotionally and mentally firm, they would end up in a destructive lifestyle. This destructive lifestyle also becomes a cycle. It also affects Nigerian-Americans too. Most Nigerians already have a standard inculcated into us of what a man and woman is meant to be like. This expectation would exempt a large population of black men in America. Finding the modern Mr. “Bankole” would mostly be based on a woman’s ability to discern a man who is a prospect. The one who is working hard and making attempt to be where He needs to be. He might not have the nicest car or even have a car yet. He might not be the most clean-cut guy. His life might be too busy trying to find his path. Men are also very unpredictable. The guy that looks like “Jonah” today, might become the Mr. “Bankole” tomorrow. A good man just needs a little hand. The presence of good woman in a man’s life should never be underestimated.

SlausonBoi MottoCrowd Incorporated

5 Reasons Why Every Nigerian Woman Should Own a S#x Toy!

I was 18 the first time I really discovered the power of getting myself off. Prior to that, I would adamantly report that “it’s not
my job” when friends and I would talk about it. That’s a saying you should never say at work and should certainly never be said in regards to your body. If it’s not your job, then whose job is it?! No one is going to know exactly what you like and teach it to you, that’s on you. If you haven’t been a regular practitioner of getting yourself off, the best way is by getting a sex toy or two.

And here are five reasons why:

1. Using a sex toy to get yourself off can first and foremost give you better knowledge and understanding of your body. You can’t begin to tell someone else what you like in bed if you aren’t sure yourself. Taking the time to really explore who you are and what you like is an investment that will give you a full return. With this knowledge, you can help ensure that you get off every time, or at least almost every time.
2. You know how your first workout after a break from the gym is extremely hard? Over time, working out becomes easier and easier, making you able to work out longer and the experience more enjoyable. The same applies for your orgasm. The more orgasms you give yourself, the easier it will be to achieve them with yourself and others. Spend some more time with yourself if you’re someone who needs a lot of time to get there. You eventually find that it takes less time, less effort and can even last longer and be more enjoyable.
3. A lot of us have probably had a time in our life when we went out and made a few decisions after a break-up or a major life change that we later regretted. I let it happen when I was younger, but now when the single fever latches on, I head to my top drawer instead. Instead of suffering through a dozen bad
OKCupid dates, take care of yourself! It’s much easier, less messy and requires a lot less effort.
4. Have you heard that saying “use it or lose it”? Well, it kind of patterns to your libido. Do you find that the less you have sex, the less you want it? Maybe not in the initial absence, but after
awhile, especially if you’re coupled up, you might suddenly find yourself indifferent about it. Suddenly, TV sounds better than sex! It’s something you never thought you would think, but here you are in your sweatpants and watching crime dramas instead of getting it on. The easiest way to bring your libido back is to jump start it. Make an effort to get yourself off, even when you’re the least bit turned on. Eventually you’ll find that your libido has returned.
5. And finally, getting yourself off is a great way to relieve a headache, reduce stress, lower pain levels, make sleeping easier and even burn a few extra calories. So next time you’re not feeling so hot, skip the nap and go for your favourite vibrator. You’ll find that the endorphins you release during orgasm will instantly make you feel better.

If this ain’t enough reasons to show yourself a little love, do it because it’s fun! Make 2014 the year that you get off often!
Written by Victoria Beth

SlausonBoi MottoCrowd Incorporated

10 Secrets of a Healthy Relationship

PHOTO: Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas

PHOTO: Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas

Truth be told, keeping him / her happy takes some serious communication, openness, and many-many more. Consider these 10 tips from certified sex therapist SARI COOPER your healthy relationship bible.

1. Express Yourself

“One of the foundations of a healthy relationship is being able to express your feelings to your partner and learning how to listen,” says Cooper. “Witnessing or mirroring [basically saying ‘I get you’] is a good basic form of communication.” But saying ‘I get you’ doesn’t mean ‘I agree with you.’ In other words, hear him out, but don’t just agree to keep the peace.

2. Schedule Quality Time Together

Particularly as you get further along in your relationship – moving in together, having kids, the whole shebang – you’ll have plenty of logistical conversations that need to happen. Who’s making sure the kids aren’t stranded at soccer practice, how to handle telling Momzilla that you’re going to his folks’ for the holidays, and so on. “That doesn’t give a sense of emotional bonding or intimacy that many people are craving,” says Cooper. Carve out quality time when you’re focusing on each other and nothing else.

3. Fight for a (Specific) Cause

“There’s a term in couples counseling we use called ‘kitchen sinking,'” says Cooper. You probably already guessed what it means: That mountain of complaints that piles up like the dishes in your skank-ass sink – starting with his griping about you stealing the TV remote whenever he turns on the sports channel and then snowballs into an argument about house chores, date nights and the fact that you never wear the awful jewelry he bought you for V-Day. Don’t do it. Arguing about a bunch of issues all at once is too overwhelming to tackle. Stick to one at a time.

4. Introduce New Experiences

Now you don’t have to sign up for the next season of Survivor, but you do want to continuously introduce novel experiences into your relationship. Whether that’s adding a new sex toy into your routine, traveling to Tahiti like you’ve always dreamed of, or taking a French class together, you want grow together – and challenge each other – with new shared experiences.

5. Express Appreciation

Everyone loves an ego boost. Tell him what a great job he did planning your latest date so he doesn’t feel taken for granted. Chances are it will inspire him to give you the same well-deserved pats on the back.

6. Make a Contract

“A lot of couples have nonverbal contracts that are vaguely set up based on habits,” says Cooper, but many haven’t made a conscious effort to agree on who’s doing what. For instance, you might be the better cook, but you want him to step it up in the kitchen two days a week. Acknowledge your individual strengths, what you each would like to contribute (and where you’re willing to compromise). And renegotiate the contract every few years.

7. Request Permission to Talk

Ask your partner if it’s okay timing to chat about a touchier (read: contentious) topic before launching into a monologue.

8. Be Spontaneous

Remember how fun the just-getting-to-know-each-other, unpredictable sex period of your relationship was? Hold on to some of that magic even as you are together for a longer period of time. Make the effort to be creative, woo, and surprise each other. Take turns planning special dates.

9. Do You

Growing and changing for the better as a person will make your relationship a better place. “One of the most important things about being in a relationship is you learn as much if not more about yourself as you do about your partner,” says Cooper. By watching the way that you react to your partner and the ways in which you’re challenged, you’re forced to grow.

10. Don’t Give Up Your BFFs

Absolutely true that you want your partner to be the first person you call with good news, and also the first shoulder you want to cry on. But the idea that your spouse has to be your number-one best friend is a myth, says Cooper. “Girls relate to best friends in a certain way, and I find a lot of women get dismayed expecting a man to react as a girlfriend would when he doesn’t.” Rather than seeking a man who will empathize with every emotion you express, find a person you’re excited to share your life with, suggests Cooper.

BIG CREDIT TO SARI COOPER.
SLAUSONBOI APPRECIATES YOU FOR THE TIPS.

The 5 Categories Of People You Need After A Breakup

Breakups are not easy to handle. While you might feel an inclination to shut yourself out from the outer world, it’s really important that you don’t stay alone for the rest of your life. There are people who care about you. Or, on the other hand, you may feel better after a conversation with a complete stranger whom you might never see again. Which people are best for curing your broken heart?

1. The Ex Who Still Loves You For No Discernible Reason. Okay, so you don’t necessarily need this ex around. It’s probably more convenient that anyone who thinks highly of you loses their invite to your pity party, lest they’re compelled to explain – using charts, diagrams, and role play – why you’re alone again. But once you crawl from denial to depression, you’ll appreciate the ex who still loves you for no discernible reason. Even if you never, ever wanted to see them again. They’re evidence that someone, somewhere has the capacity to love you romantically, that you’re capable of being on decent terms with an ex, and that you’re not cosmically screwed for life. Once you’ve moved on, their affections might as well be coming from a lampshade (you did break up for a reason I know), but that’s neither here nor there. Let their misguided adoration comfort you in your time of need.

2. A Bartender. You shouldn’t drink yourself to death while mourning, the lost relationship (this is for people that drink cos SlausonBoi 2uti doesn’t drink *BigSmile). But from what I’ve learnt, Bartenders have a lot to offer by way of therapeutic support for someone in your situation. For one thing, they’ve already seen hundreds of patrons through similar dilemmas and so have a unique perspective on philosophical questions like, “What went wrong”? If that fails, bartenders can get you liquored up and point you in the direction of a single, hot regular or even take you home themselves, as they’re typically attractive (and good listeners!) *winks

3. A Stranger. Strangers are useful for two things when you’re in the shadow of a recent breakup – taking your mind off of your ex and providing an unbiased analysis of your situation. Your interaction will likely begin with the former: meeting someone new provides at least an hour of processing completely foreign information and stringing it together to form an impression. As for the latter, strangers will candidly tell you what they think because they have no stake in protecting you or your ex. The people you know are too afraid to tell you that you’re a tad overbearing – but a stranger has no such fear. Their diagnosis will sound relevant and profound to you, even if all they’re doing is stating the obvious.

4. The Person Who Hates Your Ex. This person can be a family member, a friend, someone in your ex’s network, or… a paid actor. The only requirement is that they despise your ex to a degree that almost makes you feel sorry for the poor bastard. Almost! #Hahahaha

5. Your Friends. There is no better cure-all than time spent with friends. Dance. Laugh. Even if you accidentally boarded the ship to ‘OMG I’m In A Relationship Now And Don’t Require Friendship Anymore BYE!’ Island, don’t be afraid to let people be there for you in your time of need. At least one of your friends will be happy that you’ve crossed back over from the dark side, and if not? An apology and some good will can go a long way. Redirect the energy you”d spend grieving your ex to nourishing your dilapidated friendships.

Guess you now know what to do after a breakup, that’s if you are very emotional tho. People like me (Gemini) we actually hardly feel anything most times. Not saying this due to my own personality if that is what you think, I have asked several Gemini’s too how they feel after breakups and they told me it hurts them for a week or two that is if their ex is just exceptional and they have given all of their heart to the person. Not everybody is this way tho, some people get heart broken for months if not years until the ex comes back. What if the ex doesn’t come back? What if he or she have found love in someone else and that someone is not you ?. You won’t get yourself killed, will you ?. So this article in general is to help you move on with your life. I hope I tried tho *winks #SlausonBoi

5 Ways To Deal With A Womanizing Boyfriend

Do you think that your boyfriend is crossing the line of healthy flirting with other women? Just because he was popular with women before he met you, does not mean that he has the right to carry the same habits once he is in a relationship with you.

​Here are some effective ways to deal with the womanizing behavior of your boyfriend.

1. Identify specific instances of his womanizing behavior

You will never be able to prove your point unless you confront your boyfriend with proof about specific instances of his womanizing ways. The best way to confront him is to keep a note of all the times you noticed his womanizing ways. When you confront him, list out these specific examples so that you have enough substance to accuse him of being a womanizer.

2. Give him a warning when you confront him

There is no point in confronting your boyfriend if you don’t give him a stern warning for his womanizing ways. Let it be very clear to him that you are well aware of his behavior and you will not tolerate with any of it. You can give him an ultimatum and warn him that you might consider breaking up the relationship if he does not stop being a womanizer. Let him know that you are insecure and feel he doesn’t love you as much as you think you love him. If he actually loves you, he will stop womanizing.

3. Flirt with someone to give him a taste of his own medicine

If talking to your boyfriend calmly and having a conversation with him does not work, try to make him realize how bad you feel by flirting with someone in front of him. Set up a situation where you can flirt with a guy when your boyfriend is with you. When he confronts you about your behavior, Means he loves you and is jealous, just tell him that this is exactly how you feel when he flirts with other women. Being at the receiving end of the pain and hurt may open his eyes and make him stop being a womanizer. But if he doing that and he doesn’t feel moved and jealous in anyway, then just know you are among his bandwagon of side chicks and he doesn’t consider you his girlfriend or love you in anyway. Note: SlausonBoi speaking from experience, I was once a womanizer….been there, done that *winks

4. Walk away and pretend you want to break up if he breaks his promise twice

If you find that your boyfriend is still showing signs of being a womanizer even after you served him a warning, pretend that you are thinking of breaking up with him. Do this only if he is actually remorseful of his behavior and pleads for another chance. Use this trump card very carefully because it can create two situations. Either he will do everything he can to stop being a womanizer and prove his love for you, or he will assume that you have seriously broken up with him and he might never look back.

5. Give him one last chance and be ready to call off the relationship if he does it the third time

The is the time when you have no other choice but to make a life changing decision, whether you want to break up with your boyfriend if he does not stop his flirty behavior. If you decide that you have had enough, give him one final chance to mend his ways. Be ready to call it quits in your relationship if the results do not work in your favor, because if he still womanizes it means you mean nothing to him and he can’t change because of you. You should know that there is no looking back after you give him a last chance. If you take him back even after your ultimatum, he might take you for granted and continue being a womanizer.

I wrote this article because of the emails I get from some girls I don’t even know and their complaints about how awful they are been treated by their boyfriends and I assure you that I wrote this article from my experience of being a flirty dude till I really found someone I loved and really had to change because of her because I felt I needed not to hurt her feelings because she gave me her all and I had no alternative than to change. If the man you love truly loves you back he is going to change just to make sure you are happy #SlausonBoi

I hope this article helps you. You can mail me: excelayuk@yahoo.com for GnC. Please include your Name, Country and state of residence if not you won’t get a reply. Thank you!