DJ Jimmy Jatt drops best collaborative album from Africa. We present you “I Am Legend featuring Ruggedman, Eedris Abdulkareem M.I & Waje” and “E to Beh featuring Banky W & Phyno” as our album sneek peak. Enjoy & Go cop the album
A study on factors that influence relationships always focus mostly on girls. But this days much attention have been shifted to the guys because it can be observed without much doubt that guys of nowadays tend to show a preference or make an approach for less prettier girls.
In the years past guys always wanted to be in relationships with girls who possessed certain features such as a pretty face, tall, smaller jaw bone, bigger boobs, bigger butt, right curves, bright eyes etc. All in all, they wanted girls who had striking beauties and were attractive because it boosted their ego. But the same thing can’t be said this days.
I was chatting with a female friend a few days ago and along the line we got into a conversation on girls and their criteria for dating or getting into a relationship with someone. While she argued that girls wanted to date the attractive or more physically handsome guys/men, and the rich guys who could satisfy their material desires. I told her that i personally had a different ideology. I believe that a girl/woman get attracted to a man and sometimes falls in love with him for who he is and how he carries himself. A guy doesn’t necessarily need to be strikingly handsome to get the type of girl he wants. He might not even need to be rich or possess all the wealth in the world for him to get the attention of miss world if that’s who he craves or has a thing for.
My findings show that guys of this days suffer from complex, even the handsome ones. 70% of guys nowadays find approaching a very pretty girl of their taste a heavy task that is to an extent un-achievable due to a lack of self esteem and a fear of being embarrassed or humiliated by such girls, this factor is a major reason why most pretty girls are still single because they get lesser approaches. The same guys feel they have a better success rate when they walk up and talk to a girl who to them is less more attractive.
It is the reason why the “Okay” girls/Ladies/women get a lot of toasters nowadays that they even become choosy. People can judge for themselves how attractive they are by the amount of attention they are receiving, whether it’s good attention or bad attention. Most “not too pretty” girls get too much attention to an extent that most of them start having a feeling that they are pretty or possess hidden beauties (Laughs). My candid advise to guys is to stop being intimidated by pretty girls, try to make an approach for any girl you feel suits your taste. The pretty girls are not usually as hostile as you think they are. Forget about the feeling of getting embarrassed or humiliated, because that mindset can cause you to settle for someone less than you deserve. Some guys don’t approach the pretty girls because they feel they might have been taken by someone else, very laughable but true. Sometimes this girls leave hints but you fail to pick up on the bombs and it is very hurtful on their path. You don’t expect her to make the first move, 98% of girls won’t do that, so you are expected to make the move. Not like girls don’t approach guys at all, 2% of girls do that, i’ve had girls approach me in the past and trust me, i can definitely tell the difference between slutty girls and the genuine good girls.
My advise to the pretty girls who are worried and sometimes get hurt because they are getting less more attention is that beauty is very subjective. In your eyes, you could be far prettier than these girls that you see getting all the attention. But the girl you call ‘ugly’ could be gorgeous in the eyes of the guy who’s talking to her. If it’s easier to grasp this way, think of it in terms of celebrities. I personally think Jordan Sparks is really pretty
but that Nicki Minaj is ugly. A lot of people would disagree and say that Nicki Minaj is gorgeous or that Jordan Sparks isn’t pretty. Beauty is all in the eye of the beholder. I’m sure you and your friends don’t always agree on which celebrity guys are
hot. It’s all based on the individual’s opinion, you know? The best way to deal with this is remind yourself that there will be guys out there that will find you attractive and posses enough guts to walk up to you. Just because you’re not seeing them now
doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. I know it’s hard to keep that in mind but it really does help.
The pretty girls for sure may get more looks and stares and wolf whistles, catcalls and stuff. But what about guys approaching them and asking them out? I’ve heard a mixture of answers from previous questions about this topic. What is your opinion on this?
SlausonBoi MottoCrowd Incorporated
Did you eat a particularly garlicky slice of pizza at lunch? Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that breath mint or piece of gum isn’t going to cut it. In fact, even if you brush your teeth and gargle with mouthwash, you’re merely covering up the foul stench of your last meal.
Bad breath is caused as methyl mercaptan gas builds up in the mouth. This occurs until food is fully digested. Dry mouth and food bacteria are also culprits of bad breath. However, the good news is that you can blast the foul odor, just by eating right.
Here are 12 foods that banish bad breath…
A dry mouth full of food particles is a haven for foul breath bacteria are anaerobic, but drinking water cleanses them out.
An apple a day will banish foul breath if you eat an apple after that garlicky pizza or pasta dish.
3. Green Tea:
Yet another health benefit of green tea—it contains polyphenols (a type of antioxidant) that prevents the growth of bad breath bacteria.
Red and juicy cherries are more than just delicious following dinner by blasting methyl mercaptan odors that are emitted from bad breath bacteria.
Banish stinky garlic breath garlic with a few sprigs of parsley, which contains polyphenols that break down the sulfur compounds that grow in your mouth after a particularly garlicky meal.
6. Whole Milk:
Studies have linked the fat and water in whole milk with flushing out the odor-causing effects of a garlicky meal.
Studies credit the polyphenols in spinach to annihilating smelly sulfur compounds in foods like garlic and onions.
Studies show that lettuce also reduces the foul smell of methyl mercaptan, a gas that builds up in the mouth as food is digested.
Leafy greens that contain high amounts of chlorophyll —such as mint, coriander, tarragon, eucalyptus, rosemary, and cardamo —work effectively as natural breath fresheners.
10. Yogurt with Probiotics:
The powerful bad breath fighters in yogurt are due to the active cultures—Lactobacillus bulgaricus and Streptococcus thermophilus—which prevent the build-up of odor-causing hydrogen sulfide in your mouth.
11. Citrus Fruits:
Oranges, grapefruit, lemons, and limes with high vitamin C content make the mouth adverse to bacterial growth.
Don’t worry about skipping the garlic and onions if you’ve got basil on hand! It’s rich in garlic-breath- fighting benefits of polyphenols, particularly if consumed during the same meal garlic pesto sauces anyone?
SlausonBoi MottoCrowd Incorporated
If your marriage is falling apart, these five steps provide you with a clear path out of the darkness and a new beginning for your relationship journey.
With these five steps, couples have been able to reawaken love and enjoy each other again. Even if your situation seems hopeless, don’t give up.
1) Commit: While it may appear obvious, the couples that do not make it are usually those not committed to making their marriage work. When you make the decision to commit, you have decided to put in the hard work that is needed to save your marriage. When you waver and think about what it would be like if you married someone else or how you wish your life would be different, you are usually not able to generate enough momentum to push forward and repair the relationship.
2) Seal your exits: Couples in crisis are often focused everywhere but their marriage. It’s so painful, who can blame them? Even if we are physically married, many of us have “checked out.”An essential step to bringing the energy back into the relationship is to seal your exits. This means thinking about the various activities where we focus our inner resources and whether they have become substitutes for the look of excitement and fulfillment in marriage. Besides the obvious (often-fatal) exits of infidelity and substance abuse, here are a few common exits that we may find ourselves doing: Work, exercise, over eating, facebook, taking care of the kids
3) Detox your marriage: Eliminate all name-calling, finger-pointing, blaming, and shaming. A toxic relationship cannot thrive. Angry outbursts chip away at the love and trust that a couple has for each other. Instead, take ownership for your feelings and frustration by focusing on why your spouse’s actions disturb you. Replace the “you” of “you always do this” with “I” – “how I felt when…”
Finally, learn to ask for what you want. It’s so easy to complain that we often forget what it is we are missing. Rather than focusing on how your spouse ignores you, share how badly you crave his love and attention. Not only does detoxing your marriage help remove the poison from your relationship, it will make your spouse much more amenable to meeting your needs.
4) Enter the world of the other: One of the painful realizations that married people discover is that “my spouse is not me.” In order to make room for the other, it is critical to learn how to acknowledge that your spouse may see the world very differently than you. Get into the habit of asking, “Is now a good time?”
5) Love infusions: Working on any relationship is challenging, especially so when you are trying to rescue one in crisis. That’s why it is crucial to infuse your relationship with loving behaviors that promote positive energy. These love infusions help lighten things and add fun. Show appreciation, fix date nights and exude caring behaviors.
When we act lovingly we not only stimulate our own love for our spouse; we awaken their love for us as well. And with these concrete behavioral changes occurring, we show that the relationship can indeed be different.
SlausonBoi MottoCrowd Incorporated
Whether you’re the life of the party, a bookworm, or most active during the night, your personality plays a surprisingly large role in your ability to slim down. Follow this guide to discover your personality type and use your own characteristics to lose weight and keep it off for good.
If you’re impulsive: In a famous 1972 study, scientists offered young children a choice between a single marshmallow immediately or, if they could wait 15 minutes, two marshmallows. Those who waited went onto experience more success and higher SAT scores later on in life. The ability to delay gratification also relates to weight loss, researchers say.
People tend to be either a “one-marshmallow person” or a “two-marshmallow person.” If you’re struggling with weight loss, you are more likely a one-marshmallow person. Eliminating little temptations will help: stop stocking your pantry with junk food, and avoid the break room at work when you know there will be leftover treats.
If you’re reliable: Always on time? Follow rules by the book? It means you’re conscientious, a trait that makes it easier to stick with an eating or fitness plan. However, whether you’re conscientious or not, there’s a paradox in that creating a plan forces you to think about food all the time, which can work against you. The solution: create routines not specifically about dropping pounds that will still lead to weight loss, he suggests. For example, instead of driving your kids the mile to school, start walking with them.
If you’re prone to mood swings: The way you ride life’s rollercoaster determines your emotional stability. If you’re emotionally excitable, things are either very good or the worst ever. Some people are emotional eaters, so the more you’re on the emotional rollercoaster the more likely you are to reach for food. The more excited you are in general, the more likely you are to take action, and eating is an action, researchers say. Learn to recognize your own ups and downs and try to take action in healthier ways, like calling a friend or sweating your stress away with a workout.
If you’re quiet: People who prefer curling up with a book over a night out at the bar may have a leg up on weight loss. Introverts may have a more thoughtful, less impulsive style that enables them to consider their choices more rationally, specialists say. Introverts are more likely to possess qualities that enable them to commit to a healthy diet and regular exercise routine, both of which require restraint, difficult for more impulsive people, she says. Extroverts should plan ahead for situations that test willpower. If you know you’re headed to a party, for instance, eat a healthy snack beforehand so you’ll be less likely to scarf down junk.
If you’re the life of the party: Outgoing people tend to allow stress to accumulate to the point that’s known as “amygdala hijack,” according to researchers. This is where we utilize the more basic, primitive part of our brain versus our more human pre-frontal cortex. The latter allows us to consider our longer-term goals and make healthier choices, says Hanna. This pleasure based eating has been shown to trigger an addictive response that often leads to overeating high-calorie, high-fat comfort foods. If you enjoy being the center of attention, try putting yourself in social situations that don’t involve food.
If you’re often hard on yourself: People who lack self-compassion have a huge negative reaction every time they make a mistake. Those high in self-compassion simply move on and vow to not make the same mistake again. If you’re hard on yourself, you’re more likely to continue overeating after you’re slipped up, since realizing you’ve overeaten leads to feelings of hopelessness. If you’re not self-compassionate by nature, you need to work on forgiving yourself!
If you’re a night owl: Staying up until the wee hours may wreak havoc with your waistline. Researchers found that people who were kept up until 4 a.m. ate 550 additional calories during their late night hours. What’s more, a higher percentage of the late-night calories came from high-fat foods than they did during daytime hours.
If you’re an early bird: In a recent study, participants who woke up early were less likely to be overweight than night owls-even though both groups slept the same number of hours. Although this study involved young children, the results are likely applicable to adults as well. If you love to sleep in, you may not be getting enough sleep, in which case you need to go to bed earlier to increase your total sleep time. Doctors recommend adults strive for seven to nine hours of sleep per night.
If you’re self-centered: Being a little stuck on yourself may not be such a bad thing when trying to lose weight. Self-centered people tend to consider their own interests, which could lead them to better conserve their energy and have more willpower to make healthy choices. People-pleasers, on the other hand, may get overly stressed about helping everyone else and find themselves depleted at the end of the day. This often triggers poor food choices. Instead, practice being more “selfish” in asking for what you want and sticking to it without feeling guilty. Meet friends after your workout instead of canceling your exercise plans, or ask them to join you.
If you’re easygoing: People who go with the flow tend to be leaner than those who are more neurotic, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. In some cases, however, this may backfire. Highly agreeable people may stress over failure because they’re afraid of letting other people down. This stress can actually get in the way of successful weight loss, because stress makes it harder to resist temptation.
When you think relationships should be a certain way, and yours isn’t, frustration sets in. And “frustration is the number one thing that eats away at a relationships.
Here are 8 myths you need to do away with to prevent your relationship from going down a dark tunnel. 1. Myth: A good relationship means that you don’t have to work at it.
Fact: “The strongest most enduring relationships take lots of hard work. Another bad sign is if you’re trying hard to make improvements and changes, but you don’t see the same level of effort on your partner’s part. On the flip side, if both of you are trying and you can see positive changes being made at least some of the time, then that’s a good sign.
2. Myth: If partners really love each other, they know each other’s needs and feelings.
Fact: “It’s a setup to expect your partner to be able to read your mind,” because when you anticipate that your partner will know your wants, that’s essentially what you’re doing. We develop this expectation as kids, but “as adults, we’re always responsible for communicating our feelings and needs. And once you’ve communicated your needs and feelings, “a better measure of the quality of your relationship” is whether your partner actually listens to your words.
3. Myth: If you’re truly in love, passion will never fade.
Fact: Thanks to movies and romantic novels, we assume that if we genuinely love someone, “the passion, urging and loving” never go away. And if they do disappear, then “it must not be the right relationship” or “our relationship [must be] in trouble,” However, passion naturally diminishes in all relationships. As their responsibilities grow and roles expand, couples have less and less time and energy for each other. But with a little planning and playfulness, you can boost passion, couples can do new things together to perk things up, ask yourselves: “How do we tame our lives sufficiently that we can make time for each other and have energy left for each other?”
4. Myth: Having a child will strengthen your relationship or marriage.
Fact: Studies have shown that in some relationships happiness actually decreases with every child. This doesn’t mean that you start loving each other less or that you won’t bond at all over your child, but the mounting challenges can complicate relationships. Having realistic expectations helps couples prepare themselves for their new roles. When you think that a child will improve your relationship, it only adds to the complications.
5. Myth: Jealousy is a sign of true love and caring.
Fact: Jealousy is more about how secure and confident you are with yourself and your relationship (or the lack thereof), she said. Take the following example: If you have a jealous partner, you might try to show them how much you care so they don’t get jealous. But you soon realize that any amount of caring isn’t a cure for their jealous reactions.
While you can be supportive, your partner must work on their insecurity issues on their own. “No matter what you do, you can’t make your partner feel more secure” or “change their self-confidence.”
6. Myth: Fights ruin relationships.
Fact: In actuality, what ruins relationships is not resolving your fights, Blum said. “Fights can be really healthy, and an important form of communication and clearing the air.”
Also, the type of fight a couple has plays a role. Not surprisingly, nasty, scornful or condescending fights that leave couples resolution-less and not talking for days damage the relationship. Productive conflicts that help the relationship end with “some mutual decision about how to manage this disagreement.
7. Myth: In order for the relationship to be successful, the other partner must change.
Fact: Many times we’re very good at the blame game and not so good at pondering how we can become better partners. Instead, we demand that our partners make such and such changes. Unless, there are extreme circumstances like abuse or chronic infidelity, it takes two to make changes.
8. Myth: Couples therapy means your relationship is really in trouble.
Fact: By the time couples seek therapy, this may be true, but changing this mindset is key. Most couples seek therapy “when they’ve been suffering for a really long time. So therefore, people should view therapy as preventive, meaning you should go for therapy at the early stages of light issues not when you’ve been stuck in conflicts for over 10 years.
SlausonBoi MottoCrowd Incorporated
I was in a conversation with some young political activists some months ago. After talking about our political dissonances, we gradually shifted to a different topic. We were all blacks, so, it makes sense that we transitioned to issues that affects the black population. A lady was sharing passionately on why black men needed to step up and learn to treat their women right. She was so passionate that you could sense she was speaking from a personal experience. I listened and was eager to share my views. This is not a new topic that I have been involved in but there was so much in her conversation that I could not get it out of my mind.
The conversation went on to talk about how black women are at the bottom of the social strata. Most black women are educated and smart but usually struggle to find a mate that matches up to that standard that most successful black women have. With a curious mind, I began to think of intelligent black women I know who are still single.
In my opinion, I do not see being single as a bad thing or disease. Being single does not make you less of a human being. I also believe that that there are people who can be happily single if they choose to. On that note, I gently contributed. Even though black women cannot find partners, I mentioned that black men in United States are also at the bottom of the economic strata. I also could not stop thinking of black men who are struggling to get jobs. I am not even talking about those with only high school degrees; it also include friends who are highly educated.
I noticed how many black women around me easily progress in their career path but most of the men are behind and struggling. I do not have a definite answer to the imbalance because there are so many reasons involved. It is a great thing to have a professional degree; but I have come to a conclusion that not everyone would have one. Not everyone would become a doctor, lawyer, engineer or a social worker. Some people have to go a different path. The sad aspect is that you would struggle to move up in the economic ladder if you do not have professional degree. Black men struggle with a lot of stigma and very little network to build their reputation.
In the world today, networking is huge. You need to know how to get what you want and where you need to go. Most Nigerians in America I know, are mostly in social work if they are not professionals. There are many fields to launch into than being a social worker. But the pool of network is very small outside this circle. I also noticed how black people are hesitant to help the young black men. This is a sad truth. The world demands creativity and it is important for individuals to become creative in any way possible. In a very complex world, it is also important to be flexible and adaptable to change. The only thing is that most black men have weak networks for them to be innovative. I can think of white peers who were behind academically but have gradually progressed in their career path than some black men who performed better. Their parents and friends have done most of the work for them. They all join these networks that would benefit them.
We, being Nigerian-Americans. Our parents lived for survival, so there is very little to build on. Only if your dad is Dangote, Bishop Oyedepo or Adebayo Ogunlesi, then you have no worries. Most organisations our parents probably belong to is more social than adding any value to their children. These organisations are more of “Owambe” than focused a providing
economic development for their children. In United States, those with strong communities have been able to produce successful people. I am always talking to the Italian-Americans, Chinese-Americans, Indian-Americans and especially to Jewish-
Americans on how they have left a lasting legacy in America. Most black men would have to go beyond the black community to ascend in their career path. There is a very small pool of people that you can actually find to mentor you in your career path.
Being the first in my family to go into law school was also challenging. I remember just trying to network with other Nigerian men who were lawyers but it was not successful. It takes a while to find genuine men who are interested in building other men. It is so easy to find black women empowerment network but black men are just lost, striving to survive and make it on their own. Probably that would explain why some men become demanding and expect so much from their partners. Since our women have been able to move a lot
quicker in the economic ladder than most black men do, I could not stop thinking of the significance for the brothers to start networking with the black women network.
Furthermore; strong families produce strong children. If black men can humble themselves and realize that there are more odds against them. They have very little and weak networks. Most black men have to deal stereotypes. Most people feel threatened by black men. Black women are always easier to reach out to than black men. Not all of us want to become an
entertainers (where most black men have mainly progressed). Black women are usually more skilled and with vast network. The larger population in United States are usually more comfortable with black women in leadership than black men. That is why I believe that a stronger family would make a
progressive race of people. A stronger family involves genuine commitment and faithfulness from both husband and wife.
It is important not to assume that marriage will change your life drastically but it is important for married couples to realize that they belong to the same team. To be a team means you are working towards a common vision and both of you will do anything to support each other. As a single guy and also black, you sometimes had to break a perception and stereotype of being perceived as lazy and indisciplined. People respect you more when you are able to keep your marriage. In America, it always reflect the strength and character, when they a black man has a stable family. Black males with supportive wives are more likely to progress very quickly than the young single ambitious guy who is still trying to find stability.
We also need our women to dismiss the fantasy of having Mr. “Bankole.” Mr. “Bankole” is my metaphor for a man who is very successful and ready for marriage. The sad part is Mr. “Bankole’s” have become very few. In a cultural context, many things have changed for men. Men used to be the sole bread winner but the change in culture have also demanded women to also become financially responsible. In America, the black men are at the bottom of the economic strata. It has become a system that has kept them there. There are many reasons to this situation. Family structure, poor lifestyle choices etc. But most educated black men also had to suffer and endure before they find stability. The unemployment rate is higher within the black male than the average population. From my understanding, once you are unemployed for more than nine months, your skill sets would have to be refined.
Many black males are not sure of their place in the society. If they are not emotionally and mentally firm, they would end up in a destructive lifestyle. This destructive lifestyle also becomes a cycle. It also affects Nigerian-Americans too. Most Nigerians already have a standard inculcated into us of what a man and woman is meant to be like. This expectation would exempt a large population of black men in America. Finding the modern Mr. “Bankole” would mostly be based on a woman’s ability to discern a man who is a prospect. The one who is working hard and making attempt to be where He needs to be. He might not have the nicest car or even have a car yet. He might not be the most clean-cut guy. His life might be too busy trying to find his path. Men are also very unpredictable. The guy that looks like “Jonah” today, might become the Mr. “Bankole” tomorrow. A good man just needs a little hand. The presence of good woman in a man’s life should never be underestimated.
SlausonBoi MottoCrowd Incorporated