If your marriage is falling apart, these five steps provide you with a clear path out of the darkness and a new beginning for your relationship journey.
With these five steps, couples have been able to reawaken love and enjoy each other again. Even if your situation seems hopeless, don’t give up.
1) Commit: While it may appear obvious, the couples that do not make it are usually those not committed to making their marriage work. When you make the decision to commit, you have decided to put in the hard work that is needed to save your marriage. When you waver and think about what it would be like if you married someone else or how you wish your life would be different, you are usually not able to generate enough momentum to push forward and repair the relationship.
2) Seal your exits: Couples in crisis are often focused everywhere but their marriage. It’s so painful, who can blame them? Even if we are physically married, many of us have “checked out.”An essential step to bringing the energy back into the relationship is to seal your exits. This means thinking about the various activities where we focus our inner resources and whether they have become substitutes for the look of excitement and fulfillment in marriage. Besides the obvious (often-fatal) exits of infidelity and substance abuse, here are a few common exits that we may find ourselves doing: Work, exercise, over eating, facebook, taking care of the kids
3) Detox your marriage: Eliminate all name-calling, finger-pointing, blaming, and shaming. A toxic relationship cannot thrive. Angry outbursts chip away at the love and trust that a couple has for each other. Instead, take ownership for your feelings and frustration by focusing on why your spouse’s actions disturb you. Replace the “you” of “you always do this” with “I” – “how I felt when…”
Finally, learn to ask for what you want. It’s so easy to complain that we often forget what it is we are missing. Rather than focusing on how your spouse ignores you, share how badly you crave his love and attention. Not only does detoxing your marriage help remove the poison from your relationship, it will make your spouse much more amenable to meeting your needs.
4) Enter the world of the other: One of the painful realizations that married people discover is that “my spouse is not me.” In order to make room for the other, it is critical to learn how to acknowledge that your spouse may see the world very differently than you. Get into the habit of asking, “Is now a good time?”
5) Love infusions: Working on any relationship is challenging, especially so when you are trying to rescue one in crisis. That’s why it is crucial to infuse your relationship with loving behaviors that promote positive energy. These love infusions help lighten things and add fun. Show appreciation, fix date nights and exude caring behaviors.
When we act lovingly we not only stimulate our own love for our spouse; we awaken their love for us as well. And with these concrete behavioral changes occurring, we show that the relationship can indeed be different.
SlausonBoi MottoCrowd Incorporated