When we discuss the idea of faking an orgasm, it’s usually in the context of women. But according to a new book, Why Men Fake It: The Totally Unexpected Truth About Men and Sex, guys are pulling a Sally-at-the-diner-scene too, at least once in a while. Wait, is that even possible?
Via an interview with author Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, yep! (Although you’ll have to read his book to find out how they ummmm…fake the physical evidence.) And just how many of them have? There aren’t a lot of statistics on it, but at least one survey showed that 31 percent of men admitted to a fake one at least once. And Dr. Morgentaler is in the position to deal with a lot of men who have, as he’s been treating men with sexual problems for 25 years, which is how he came to realize that men faking orgasms was not only possible but not as uncommon as you might expect.
So, why do they do it? Dr. Morgentaler uses the idea of a fake orgasm as proof that guys are actually pretty considerate lovers who care much more about their partner’s satisfaction than their own. Much like you don’t want to make a guy feel bad if you couldn’t quite get there, a man feels the same way on an off night. Says Dr. Morgentaler:
“It turns out the reasons men fake it are actually pretty similar to the reasons that women fake it. In their minds — and we can argue whether or not it’s productive thing to do — but in their minds, it’s actually a form of kindness. They’re kind of letting the other person know that they’ve done a good job. In this particular case in the book, this guy had trouble having an orgasm during intercourse, but it had never bothered him before. He’s felt like a stud. The problem happened when he fell in love. Once he got his feelings involved, he became concerned that she was feeling bad about her own feminine charms and skills, and so to solve that for her he started to fake it.”
Good intentions don’t necessarily lead to the best of solutions when it comes to this kind of thing, but it is interesting to hear that what bothers a guy most about not being able to reach orgasm is how it might affect a partner, especially one he cares about. And while honestly is usually the better policy, I’m guessing most women would admit to feeling concerned and self-conscious if a guy didn’t orgasm during sex. Hence, an “I’ll have whathe’s having” moment.
Have you ever suspected your Man of faking? Or does it seem totally impossible to you?